Post 100 Days Parenting Update

My commitment - Increase my involvement in my son's education, making sure I check his agenda for homework (not just take his word for it) daily and that he has the resources he needs to excel in his current grade to be on track graduate in 2015 or before.

My Update:

I can say, that infamous quote "I'm not where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be". Back in elementary school my son had a problem of always missing homework or not turning in is assignments (my fault). I was determined not to let that happen in middle school.

Beginning 2008/2009 school year. I began on fire, this was my son's first year of middle school. I was NOT going to be a bystander in his education any longer. Allowing the circumstances I was in emotionally (due to my own bad decision making) rob him once again of an involved advocate/parent in his educational process. I meant it, I've follow through on that.

Did I check his agenda everyday? In the beginning, YES, after awhile I would have to say NO. No excuses. Daily I would ask my son, where's your agenda, do you have homework. Reluctantly he would respond, no or do the preteen thing, and ask "why?" There were times the agenda was written in many other times it wasn't for various reasons most of which honestly don't make much sense to me now. Teachers just weren't consistent in it and neither was my son.

I resorted to continuing something I began in October or September of 2008 with all of his teachers. Send a group email at the end of each week and ask, two simple questions: how is his behavior in your class? Is any homework missing? Please let me know by COB on Friday, have a great weekend.

That is something that worked for all but one teacher, (honestly when I got the clue as to what he wanted, that didn't work either he just didn't want follow up at all (not acceptable)). No longer did I receive numerous reports at progress report or report card time about my child missing 5 or 6 assignments. I was able to cut it off at the pass each week and come down on him like Ike hit Houston.

I can proudly say. That is something with the help of God, I have been able to figure out how to nip that in the bud for the most part. I'm finding this is truly a work in progress. His grades weren't up to par, not because he lacked the capability to do so. Far from it, I lacked the consistency to give the proper rewards and consequences to make sure he did his part. I began with it and literally forgot, that's when his grades fell from mostly As and a few Bs to a couple of Bs to barely Cs.

As a parent truly I possess the influence in him that makes all the difference. I racked my brain trying to understand what happened, then it hit me. The consequence and rewards he had I forgot to remind him about. As a single parent with many things going on personally and professionally, I hate to admit it but it slipped my mind.

As soon as I reminded him of it. Low and behold, I saw a shift in him. With only two weeks left of school it may be too little to late for 2008/2009 school year (for all As and Bs) but, I must say strides in the right direction for me as a parent have definitely taken place.

I'm creating a plan of improvement for next year and am determined to help both improve myself and son's work ethic in his school work. It's not going to be easy, but neither is being a trashman for a living in the USA.

No doubt I have light years to go, in my parenting abilities. No doubt I've also come many to get to this point. He's still on track to graduate in 2015!!!!!

Your thoughts welcome : )

Spiritual Commitment Update

As we come closer to the end President Obama’s first 100 days. He's accomplished quite a bit.

My pastor has called this the year of the "total makeover". It has been for the nation, the ministry I belong to, my employer and it truly has been for me as well.

I made three commitments initially on here three months ago. Here's my spiritual commitment update.

Increase my involvement in my church's vision along with my son's and my personal spiritual development.

I began retaking the spiritual development classes at my church. I started a devotional with my son using the books from those classes. I am also going be assisting in a bible study beginning in May. Last but not least, I’ve begun participating in our youth athletic association at church.

When I rededicated my life to Christ and went up to the altar during the last quarter of 2008, my pastor told those of us who had rededicated, to go through our spiritual development courses all over again. He said that we would see things differently this time around. I must admit, my first thought was whaaa? That’s 12 classes! I only had one more to complete before I graduate. Wrong answer! This was NOT about completing a task list (I knew it) it was about my spiritual development, not just that but my life and the life of my son. Especially as a single parent I’ve got to improve spiritually; this impacts my son and my entire reason for being.

Months went by, the Holy Spirit wouldn’t allow me to let it go (I truly have a heart to obey). I put it off and off. I FINALLY began the classes again this year in 2009; this past week as a matter of fact, low and behold. My pastor knew what he was talking about (duh) he's a man of God with great insight and wisdom. I’ve taken two of the 12 classes, Salvation, along with Confession and Baptism, and will continue until I graduate. This time I prepared for class, I did my devotion on it the week before, wrote down my questions and went in ready.
While taking the salvation class again, I realized I am behaving as one who has not even been born again. OUCH!!! Talk about sobering!! We went through the scripture. Romans 8:15

15For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship.[a] And by him we cry, "Abba,[b] Father."
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans%208:15;&version=31;

What this meant for me is I’ve been in a cage for all these years that had an open door. I just didn’t realize I could step out. Because I’ve given my life to Christ, been born again into a new nature, that of Christ, I can make choices not to fear and step out. Not with trust in my abilities, but with trust in my heavenly father. I have His nature now which does not fear. As simple as this is, I missed it in practice. I’m not to look at what is coming tomorrow from the respect of concern about what will or won’t happen. I use wisdom to prepare as best I can and concentrate on today for it has enough to handle on it’s own Matt 6:25.

I'm excited to seeing what God has in store next. I've already begun to step out!! Your thoughts welcome.

Let's Get Started!!!!!!!!

Check out President Obama's agenda if you need other ideas

http://www.whitehouse.gov/agenda/

List what you are willing to commit to and your progress here!!!!!!

Below is my list. Let's support each other in moving forward!!!!

SPIRITUAL

My commitment - Increase my involvement in my church's vision along with my son's and my personal spiritual development.

Here's an interesting article and a few links for Christian development.

http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Christian_Education_Why_Are_We_So_Biblically_Illiterate.html

http://www.danacarsonministries.com/cki/
http://www.blueletterbible.org/
www.crosswalk.com

PARENTAL

My commitment - Increase my involvement in my son's education, making sure I check his agenda for homework (not just take his word for it) daily and that he has the resources he needs to excel in his current grade to be on track graduate in 2015 or before.

Fox News reported that in 17 of our 50 major cities in the USA less than 50% of our kids graduated high school in 2008, whaaaaaa???!!! Let's just do what we can to make sure our kids not only graduate but move on to college and/or develop skills and certifications they can use to be productive members of society!!!

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,344190,00.html

Listed below are some sites you can use to help your child and/or get involved in the life of one.

http://www.americaspromise.org/APA.htm (Colin Powell's non-profit)
www.education.com
http://www.childrensdefense.org/site/PageServer? pagename=research_state_information_children_in_the_states (Gives droppout rates state by state)
http://scotthochberg.com/taas.html (Has taks test helps for all grades)
http://www.boostup.org/ (Created to help combat the dropout rate)
http://www.childadvocates.org/ (Way to volunteer and help be an advocate for a child in court)

PERSONAL FINANCE

My commitment - Use a budget calculator, live beneath my means (not just at) and pay off at least one debt in 2009!!! (Join me)

According to the Federal Reserve as of November 2008 our consumer debt is at 2.57 trillion dollars ($2,570,000,000,000) how many zeros is that? Anyway, this doesn’t even include the debt that is "secured" by real estate. It’s our credit cards, cars, student loans etc. etc.
(I know I've made my own personal contribution to that number, IT REALLY DOES ADD UP!!!).

What a hot mess!!

Sources

http://www.money-zine.com/Financial-Planning/Debt-Consolidation/Consumer-Debt-Statistics/
http://www.federalreserve.gov/releases/G19/Current/

Listed below are a few sites we can use to aid us in getting ourselves back on track. If you know of others let me know!!!

http://online.wsj.com/ad/article/ameriprise_fpa_answers.html (How to choose a financial advisor)

http://www.cfp.net/learn/knowledgebase.asp?id=6#link12 (10 questions to ask a potential financial advisor, please choose one carefully it's serious business)

http://www.kiplinger.com/features/archives/2008/12/best-online-budgeting-sites.html
(6 budgeting sites)
www.quickenonline.com (One of my personal favorite budgeting sites)
http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/templates/results.aspx?qu=budget&av=TPL000 (If you prefer not to connect your finances to the internet, these are some great spreadsheets)
www.mycreditkeeper.com (Great site to monitor all 3 credit reports at a reasonable cost)
http://money.cnn.com/pf/
http://www.kiplinger.com/